The Eventual Honeymoon

When we got married, I didn't need a vacation.  Sure, I would have loved one.  But let's get real.  What struggles would the child-bride really be escaping?  'Ugh, I just went from one form of financial and emotional support to another.  Wait, I don't have a curfew anymore?  Sa-weet!' (Just so we're clear, that actually did happen.  I remember Justin and I going grocery shopping at 11:30 pm just because no one could tell us no.)

But eight years later?  Yeah, it was time.  Boy was it time.  Not saying life is rough, because I've got a pretty sweet gig going on.  Escaping even the most basic things, like showers for instance, was just what we needed.

So what did we do?

Well we ate...

...a lot...

in fact, on the way to Ted's to eat the best shrimp I ever did put my lips on, which was a 100 yard walk, we STOPPED AT A HOT DOG STAND.  As if the long, arduous walk really needed to be supplemented.  

 Justin refused to shave and I nearly vommed.

We got our faces all up in some shave ice.  The 20 minute wait was well worth it.  Justin got some weird concoction that had beans in it.  Come on, man; You're killing my vibe.

 We jumped off the Big Rock at Waimea Bay.  This was taken after I checked to make sure my walaha hadn't fallen off during impact.

Just for reference, this is it:

Yep.  That was exactly my reaction too.

We went kayaking where it was discovered that yes indeed I still get sea sick.  But I got to snorkel and see a butt-load (a scientific term you civilians wouldn't understand) of fish.  

(My phone freaked out and made these photos all Barbara Walters Soft-Lens-Esque.  But it's probably best that the bathing suit photos are a bit blurry.  Actually, can y'all do me a favor and squint at these too?)

Honestly this comes no where close to the full story of our first ever vacation.  I think I want to keep some stories for me and J.  Okay, I will tell you this one real quick.  We were on a hike and we were coming down the mountain and it was a fine path and all but I tripped a little and, literally, fell over like an old man and toppled into the bushes adjacent.  It was so ridiculous, I still can't believe that actually happened.  And now that I have written it, I think I am right in keeping some of these stories to myself.  I need to keep up the facade that I'm way cooler than I actually am.

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On the way out to my future home our vacation destination, J and I were sharing headphones.  Not at all necessary, but incredibly cute if I say so.  I had already been thinking about our relationship: where we had been, what we have gone through, what was to come.  You know, real light thinking for the five hour flight.

Around then, it occurred to me- Justin wasn't a settle.  If he asked me every year for the rest of my life to marry him, the answer would always be yes.  He is my permanence.  I can't be sure I'm using that noun correctly, but I imagine Justin will let me know after he reads this.  Because that's what he does.  And I love him regardless.

As I'm thinking about this...about how my answer will always be an resounding YES, a favorite song came on.  The song is actually really depressing.  But there is one line that describes it quite perfectly, this thing between J and I.

If I lived 'til I was a hundred and two

I just don't think I'll ever get over you.

Eight

"...I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

Beginnings of Summer

Milo finished Kindergarten yesterday, and they had a whole sha-bang to celebrate.  I think it was a bit much, and seeing as how Milo has said all year that Kindergarten isn't a real grade, I am pretty sure he is on my side of the argument.

But before all the fanfare of graduating a fake grade happened, we took a short trip down to Limekin State Park in Big Sur to camp and hike.  Please enjoy.

Why yes, that is a creek that flows into the ocean.  And yes, it was as beautiful to listen to as it was to watch.

"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks."  Preach, John Muir.  PREACH.

Pete, who wasn't on this trip, told J if he climbed this tree he would give him a dollar.  Time to pay up, Pete.  By the way, Justin essentially had to hump his way up the tree.  It was spectacular to watch, especially as another family came waltzing up to see him giving the tree The Business.  

Okay, so a short story.  Our friends Ben and Bri came with us, and we all brought our own food.  When they first arrived, Bri told us that she had tell Ben that BAKERS CHOCOLATE is not appropriate for s'mores.  We all had a laugh.  Then, when it was s'mores time I started making up some for me and the kids.  A few minutes later Ben quietly says, "I think I may have bought the wrong crackers."  Justin and I froze, and then a split second later started to guess what he could have brought.  Saltines?  Ritz?  Those might not be so bad...you know, salty/sweet and all.  So Ben walks over to his bag, smiles this sad little smile, and pulls out a box of

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.

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.

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Triscuits.

I seriously almost peed my pants.  You will also see he switched out his baker's chocolate for some fine Ghiradelli squares.  Oh Ben Ben Ben Ben.  I fell asleep still giggling about that.  

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Now back to Milo's Last Day

He's just so happy he didn't have to wear his uniform.  And she's just so happy because she loves her some Buggy.

I kid you not, these kids came in wielding STICKS.  I was pretty sure Ms. Bogar had just finally given up.  If there is one thing I know, it's to not trust 5 year olds with anything that could possibly be used to gouge an eye or intestine.  

I may have cried a little during the slide show.  I just really like those kids.  Milo had zero friends when we moved here, and now he has his people.  Half of us our military, and we rely on each other to be interim family.  Each one of those little ankle biters has one me over is some way or another.  Especailly Isaiah (third from the right).  He's approximately the size of a fourth grader with a heart of gold.  We bonded when I attempted to lift him on to the monkey bars and gave myself a hernia.  

For my own memory's sake: Maeve, Milo, Bella, Kady, Ianna, Isaiah, Elariyah, & Joshua.  Oh, and Gabriel, not shown, who moved last month.   

I know it's blurry, but I have to share.  This explains Battle-Ax Bogar in one photo.  She loves her kids, and has invested in them everything she has.  I am sure she drinks heavily at night, but she gives them her all and it has clearly paid off.  Milo, buddy, you are lucky to have had such a wonderful teacher.  When you're old enough, please look her up on the Google that has been implanted on your brain, find her, and give her your biggest squeeze hug.  She'll no doubt remember you, and will probably hold your face in her hands just as she did daily at afternoon pick-up.  

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On that note, our summer has officially begun.  Which means in just a few short days the kids will head to Kansas and I will fall into a deep dark depression...until I realize that I didn't have to make Mac & Cheese for dinner and it's been two whole weeks since I've vacuumed because there is no one here to spread granola into the carpet.

Goodbye, babies.  

Mom loves you.  

Be good; say a prayer before you eat; listen and obey the first time, every time, with a happy heart.  

Golden

Folks, this year is my golden birthday.

You may not have even known that the Golden Birthday is a thing... Justin sure didn't until I set him right.  Just in case you're someone who also lived in a cave growing up, I'll be 27 on the 27th of September.  Hey-oh!

I like birthdays.  A LOT.  I get disappointed when people forget.  I get sad when my super high expectations are not met.  Yep, I'm a big fat baby.  So sue me.

But this year, that will not happen!  You know why?  Because I'm giving you all plenty of warning.

If you are wondering, yes this is me planning my own birthday.  If you want stuff done a certain way ya just gotta' do it yourself.  I learned that one from my dad.  Mom apparently doesn't know his system for his socks and undies so he politely asked her to keep her arthritic chicken fingers off of them.

So here I am, politely asking for you to just sit back and let me tell you how to make my birthday, MY GOLDEN BIRTHDAY, really awesome.

(Just so we're clear, I'm really good at reciprocating.  I may be poor, but I can write some really awesome cards.  I will make your birthday dreams come true!)

I've broken it down into levels of your love and commitment to me.  You decide where you fall and act appropriately:

Level One: Basic Love
     You love me, but it may have been a few (or ten) years since we've seen each other.  Or, you're poor (no judgement, I am too).  This would be a good opportunity to send me a card.  Handmade is best, but I'm not picky.  Wait, I'm a little picky.  Send funny ones.  Then write a memory of us, sign it, seal it, send it on its way and never think about it again.  See how easy that is?

Level Two: You Are Definitely Into Me
     You love me a little more than those card folks up above, but may not have the time to commit to painting my name on the water tower in John Deere green.  You may send me a gift.  I have curated quite a collection on Etsy, Amazon & Pinterest.  Look me up, befriend me, take a peek.  Options range from $3 to Thousands.  Buyers choice.  I also love those moments where people are like "I saw this randomly and it just screamed "you".  Those make my heart smile, so you do you, boo boo.

Level Three: You, like, Really Love Me
     Nothing says love like a homemade something.  Use your imagination, set your spirit free, and then let me reap the rewards of your new awakening.  You are a beautiful butterfly, friend, and I want to see you fly.  That would be an amazing gift in itself.  Oh my gosh, guys.  What if I'm like this weird catalyst for a modern day renaissance?  Woah.

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Let's not get too legalistic about your feelings for me versus your place in the above system.  Go where the spirit leads you.  Obviously I will be ranking everyone based upon what is sent and that will determine your place in my life from henceforth, so keep that in mind.

Guys, this is going to be a lot of fun.  Mainly for me, but imagine how fulfilled you are going to feel.  I'm just so glad I can give that to you.  You're welcome.

1280 Tunisia Road

Seaside, CA 93955

Just for reference, when the time in near.  I mean, I did give it to you all over a year ago and have received like a whopping 2 cards from anyone I don't share a last name with.  I'm not bitter.

Easter Weekend

I'm still not sure I can put it into words.  The best way to describe this weekend is like runner's high.  I remember coming home from my first half-marathon and registering for another one that afternoon.  On the drive home from Sequoia National Park, I was thinking about when we would have time to do that again.  For the first time I can ever remember, I was sad to be back in Monterey.  Usually the sight of the ocean puts a peace over me, but for some reason I just wanted to be back staring at some mountains and sleeping with the sound of a river in my ear.

As far as any firsts of mine, this has got to be top three.  Maybe even better than my first husband, but only time will tell with that one.

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So about an hour into our trip Lu fell in a rushing river.  No joke.

She was in love with the river.  And then I guess she really wanted to just consummate the affair because we were all sitting there chit-chatting and the next thing I know people are swearing and I see her moving under water and Justin reaching in to pull her back up.  I couldn't speak.  I was ten feet away and felt like barfing.  (Afterwards Justin said while the moment was intense it would have been really funny to see me running towards them just barfing all over myself.)  I remember trying to tell Kim to hold my camera but I don't think that's what came out of my mouth.  I think it was more like "Schmupf partake cheese face".

Obviously she's okay, and before we were even back to the tent she was telling Justin she wanted to go back down there.  Good grief.  All last week I was panicking about having to defend my family against bears, and I hadn't even considered other possible problems.  By the way, the best way to no longer be freaked out by bears is to imagine them as people.  Wearing suits, coming home from a hard day of looting bear lockers and trashcans, just to be nagged at by his wife...I'm telling you, it made it much easier to deal with.

Milo was mad at me, and this is his form of protest.  God love him!

General Sherman and his gang of Sequoias.  Good.  Times.  I came to see ol' Sherm with my grandparents and family back in 2003.  Crap, it's been 11 years?  Just put that one together.  Anyhow, I remember it being just right off the road, a short jaunt to see the big guy.  Turns out, once again Mother's ailments came to our advantage and we used the handicapable parking lot.  You know where the parking lot is for everyone else?  Not just around the corner.  It's down a nice incline about a quarter of a mile or more.  Oh, it's all fine and dandy going down, but going back up with a 35 pound porker on your back is a completely different story.  My body language speaks volumes here.

This is Moro Rock, which is the giant rock at with steps carved into it.  When you get to the top there are panoramic views and it's absolutely breathtaking.  It's also absolutely horrible when you make it to the top to see your son dangling from the fence that keeps one from falling off said rock.  Not cool, Milo.  Not cool.

In case you were wondering, that is not Justin.  That's Pete, of Pete & Kim.  We are in the same small group and have become quite fond of each other.  Justin and Pete really took their relationship to a new level this weekend, but I'm sure there some sort of Fight Club rules associated with camping so I'll just leave it at that.

They have become like family to us, and I'm fairly certain that if Mom and Dad were to meet them they would adopt them as well.  Pete & Kim, if you are reading this, that's a good thing.  It will be uncomfortable and awkward for you about 40% of the time, but in a strange way you will really like it.

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Whilst sitting about the fire on Saturday we played truth or dare.  Well, I played truth or dare, while everyone else kept refusing to do my dares.  Most of them involved our neighbor, Party Peter (Not to be confused with our Party PETE).  Don't let the name fool you, he was like early 70s staying with his kids and grandkids.  And SUPER friendly.  But if you know me at all you know I'm rather fond of anyone 60+ and found him to be incredibly entertaining.  The group did offer one really awesome dare for me.  All day Saturday we all had "Standing Outside the Fire" stuck in our heads and were doing a pretty fair job of making sure it stayed stuck.  So I was dared that whenever I got up to pee in the middle of the night (about 10 feet away from each of the tents) I was to sing that song loudly.  That, or yell "HE IS RISEN INDEED!"  I totally would have too, except I woke up for the first time just minutes before six, so not only was it light out and could easily be spotted if I started shouting, I sure as hockey sticks was not going to wake up our children.

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I guess that's it.  Even writing that feels wrong, because it's totally not it.  I still have four-thousand more things to say but if you're still reading this you're probably hoping that'll I'll shut up.  I'll leave you with this little gem, because I think I look super adorbs.  Rarely do I take a good picture (please refer to my entire childhood for proof) so I sort of have to run with it when I do.

Ungraceful Aging

Gang, I’m getting old.

Today, I had to buy a knee brace.  Because late last week I was doing squats (there’s a mental image for you to store in the ol’ “disturbing images” bank) and, without twisting or fancy poppin’ and lockin’, my knee, simply put, just started to hurt.  So there’s that. 

And last week at a doctor’s appointment, I was informed of a variety of things she found wrong with me.  Big surprise.  Doctor appointments can be uncomfortable as is, but add on “overweight” to your profile and the experience just gets worse. 

Oh, I’m fat?  I’m so glad you told me; I had no idea!  All this time I thought I was living amongst the malnourished and somehow I was spared.  (But seriously, am I right?  Stop pointing out the obvious.  And stop being "proud" of fat people you see exercising.  It's obnoxious and unappreciated, but that's for another day.)

Thank you Jesus hallelujer that my new doctor has taken an actual interest in my symptoms and is helping me find some answers.  As she sat across from me explaining all the horrible things wrong with me, I just sat there with a dumb smile on my face because I was just SO HAPPY that she had some answers.  Honestly, I didn’t really hear much of what she said until the very end when I caught this little snippet: “…and you’ll need to do this for the rest of your life.”

BOOM.

The rest.  Of.  My life.  Immediately I thought of Louis C.K.’s stand up where he was talking about how is doctor suggested some exercises to help with an injury and he was like, “How long do I do this for?”  The doctor says, “No, this is just what you do now.”

So, this is just what I do now.  I take piles of pills and supplements.  I wear knee braces.  At the ripe age of twenty-six, I feel old.

But you know what?  I’m so happy I get to feel old with this guy.

Always one step ahead of me in years, this man gets to forge the path and comfort my sensitive heart when I come home with new aches and pains and what not.  Thank God for this man.  Someday we’ll be wiping each other butts, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

California Christmas

I suspected this season would be a difficult one, but instead I was overwhelmed with a complete peace throughout it all.  There were times where I missed home and wanted to be hanging out with my family, but even when I felt like that I knew I was exactly where I should be.  

Justin and I intentionally set out to make this Christmas different from the rest.  We committed to spending quality time together.  I wish I could say quantity as well, but the first half of the month was finishing out this semester of school for the both of us.  Regardless, the week leading up to Christmas was one of our finest, and I would love to share with you a small glimpse into a Wood Family Christmas.

Enjoy.

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One of our activities for Advent was to go watch the sunset on Winter Solstice.  It was a gorgeous day, and then at 3:00 the clouds rolled in and ruined it for me.  But at least we got some of the MOST adorable photos of the kids.

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I never expected to do well with Advent.  This was our first attempt, and I have the tendency to start strong and then give up with most things.  But I'm proud to report that we stuck with it!  We got to teach our kids about Jesus and the importance of his birth.  We got to have hot chocolate and look at christmas lights and make crafts and spend time together.  All of which probably never would have happened without that nifty little calendar reminding us, "Hey.  Stop whatever non-important thing you are doing and focus.  Focus on your children.  Your marriage.  Your Savior.  And if you listen to the story that Daddy is reading we'll take you to go see 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights."  Okay, so maybe that last part was more me, but you get the idea.

The best part of Advent?  Yesterday, even after the tree was down and the house went back to normal the kids still asked, "What's our story tonight?  What's our activity?"  Smiles.  We did it.  We got them excited about learning and loving and spending time together.  

(If you would like some help putting together your own Advent for next year, I'd love to help.  I did a smidge bit of research and have some great resources and ideas that I would be more than happy to pass on.)

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I can't forget our special visit from Swanny and Chloe.  It was refreshing to have some familiar faces around the house for the holidays.  And it made me happy to see Justin so happy.  He always loves it when someone agrees with him on every.  single.  topic.

Let me take a moment to explain their relationship when I'm around.  It's exactly like that scene from Father of the Bride where Steve Martin tells his daughter to take a jacket and she says, "I'm fine."  But then her fiance says, "It is a little chilly out there" and she says, "You're right, I'll grab one."  Granted, I paraphrased quite a bit.  But I kid you not, this conversation actually happened at our house:

Me: We need to vacuum out Cherry Poppins.  (That's my car's name, BTDubs)

Justin: Meh, I don't think we need to.

Swanny: Yeah, mine could stand to vacuumed.

Justin: Great!  Let's do it!

Me, in my head: What the frick.

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A stroke of genius had us at the Aquarium on Christmas Eve.  Definitely a new family tradition.

Lu was on a psychedelic trip with the jelly fish.

If you were curious, the answer is no; she never stops dancing/twirling.

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Kids are hilarious with sprinkles.  And by hilarious, I mean they have absolutely no control of their limbs once that bottle is in their hands.  It took a lot of restraint to not completely freak out.  I mean, Mom Santa really isn't into sprinkles as is, and you are really going overboard...

Let go or be dragged.  Let go, or be dragged.  (I have to say that to myself more than I would care to admit.)

Can you see that single tear on her cheek?  Someone was really upset about something that no one can now remember.  It's not the holidays if someone isn't crying, so i'm glad we filled our quota before it was too late.

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The Aftermath

My feelings this December 27th, after it is all said and done: grateful, satisfied, loved.  And tired.

Justin and I have stayed up two nights in a row playing Risk.  So if anyone would like to donate some time and come play with a man-child in need, we are now taking volunteers.

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Here's to a new year.  Once again I'll vow to write more, but we all know that ain't gon' happen.  

Thanks for reading.  Thanks for encouraging me.  And thanks for understanding when I disappear from here for months at a time.

See you in January...maybe.