10 May, 2012

Pinterest v. Real People

Meet Whitney Vivian Patricia Clarkson Breedlove.  I can't be sure those are actually her middle names.  I think it's Lynn, but Vivian Patricia Clarkson has a certain ring to it, so I'm going to go with that.


She wears cut off t-shirts and has a baby girl growing inside her.  Specifically, in her uterus, in case you were wondering.  She also did not know I would be posting this, so take it all in before she calls and tells me to take it down.

Anyhow, Whit and I are like peas and carrots.  Much like those vegetables, most people don't like us and think we taste gross.  Whit is sweet but tangy, while I give off a more mesquite flavor.  Probably because I use BBQ sauce like it's pancake syrup. Whitney is pretty much a genius (compared to me, because I just had to have spellchecker correctly spell 'genius' for me.  What, it's a tricky word.) and has been working hard for the past 3 three years.  Lucky for me, she has taken semi-permanent maternity leave which means I get to harass her until she reluctantly comes over to my house to craft.  

We have taken an oath to do one Pinterest activity each week.  Sort of.  There was no Bible involved, and we'll probably miss quite a few weeks because of sick kids, busy schedules, or most likely general laziness.  I won't speak for Whitney, but if I had the choice between eating a bag of marshmallows (already did that yesterday) or burning my fingers on a hot glue gun, I will always choose the marshmallows.  But back to what I was saying... both of our Pinterest boards are thick with cool stuff to do, but we just haven't got around to it.  My goal is to have 50% of the projects I have listed done by the end of 2012.  Which will be hard, because just today I added 7 new ones.  Lordy...  

Also, I plan to make all of my presents for Christmas this year.  I made the kid's gifts (a chalkboard taller than me and a pup-tent) and it was fun.  Tough, but rewarding.  Plus, it came from my heart.  Literally, I bled on the chalkboard a little.  I wiped it off though...I think. 

I digress.

This week we took on t-shirt headbands.  The funny thing is Whit showed me the photo and I said, "Oh, I saw one of these at Target but it was $13 and that is $12 above my price range."  Then we click on the tutorial and what do you know, the lady that came up with it said essentially the same thing about the exact same headbands!  It's nice to know I am not the only one a little puzzled by a $13 headband.  Once a cheapskate, always a cheapskate.

I wish I had gobs of "during" photos to show you, but you'll just have to live with this.


It's okay, you can laugh.  Yes, we know these headbands are a bit... overstated.  But the lady said to make 2 inch strips so we did.  Turns out that 2 inches times 5 strips braided together equals one giant headband.  But it was good practice and we got to iron out the details on these monsters.  Which we are totally wearing tomorrow.  In public.

Round Two:


See? MUCH better.  Blurry, but I'm sure you'll get over it.  It was a super easy to do.  But you will need a sewing machine (two quick, straight lines.  No muss, no fuss.) and a hot glue gun.  Oh, and old t-shirts.  Look me up on Pinterest if you want to find the pin yourself and copy us.  But we will find you and call you a Copying Clarence until you cry.  Just kidding... sort of.

I'm so glad I get to spend time doing this kind of stuff during the day when other moms (and dads) are off working hard and making the big bucks.  I feel kind of bad some times, but then I remember those people are earning money.  I don't earn, I just spend.  And some times I feel embarrassed for not helping out financially.  Like when I have to order $150 worth of books for one class this summer.  Seriously college, stop being so dumb.  

I'm so glad that I have people like Whitney (and let's not forget the amazing Mary Anne, MIA) to spend time with.  It's hard to find people that I genuinely like that also genuinely like me back.  If I would have known being a stay-at-home-mom meant I could meet such cool people, I would have started back in high school!  Because let's be honest, there were some real duds in high school as far as friends go.

And I'm so glad to have Justin on my team.  He puts up with a lot of nonsense.  Especially when I craft, because I turn into a zombie.  Seriously, I get so zoned in on the project at hand I won't stop until it's done.  Which is fine for short things like the headbands.  But when I was pregnant with Lu I sewed non-stop for 12 hours.  It can get scary.  And he never complains.  He just quietly shuffles around me and makes sure I hydrate.  Dehydration is the leading cause of crappy craftsmanship.  Look it up.  No, don't.  I don't think that's real.

Well Pinterest, we fought you and kind of came out on top.  Let's see what you have for us next time.

Oh, real quick.  In a moment of sheer excitement after finishing our first project, Whitney and I have decided to go into business making headbands.  Because no one is selling their homemade products these days.  No one. ... Right?  We need a name though.  How about Farts and Crafts by Us.  No?  Too edgy?  We will gladly accept suggestions for our fake/nevergoingtohappen business.



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